We aren’t divine …we are “bloody” mortals.. so knowingly, unknowingly.. we commit mistakes, not once but innumerable times… but at times even a triffle mistake becomes devastating and even life doesn’t give us a second chance to make up for that.
At times, we get entangled in the vicious circle of our own mistakes so badly that …we try rectifying one, and in the way, we commit another, and the more we try and try getting outta that, we end up becoming worse! Errors after errors, blunders after blunders…… the thread just keeps adding… and it follows us day in and day out …. like a shadow.. it doesn’t let us sleep… doesn’t let us dream…doesn’t let us smile..keeps us dull all the while…as a matter of fact… it doesn’t let us LIVE… … we try n scream ….. but we cant… we run here n there … madly looking for wink of trust in people’s eyes ……..but we find none … even words start defying our mind … and all that comes outta our mouth are bitter …our thinking and saying and people’s understanding are no longer coherent and gradually even we forget what were we exactly trying to justify… and we just let it go. Just imagine ourselves begging HIM everyday to set things right…. But everyday finding things going worse.
We would feel wretched…. All we can do is to be a helpless witness to your own doom… and then slowly .. stop trying and start believing in it … and we start throwing off airs of adamancy… which in fact does nothing more than adding fuel to the fire we have set upon ourself …..the result – we begin to hate being “us” ….
We lose people, we lose relations …. One by one .. we just let go … we stop fighting because we are tired ….. and all alone …. We just crouch down on our knees…. throw up our hands and give that last dumbening scream ….
Even Shakespeare spoke through “Messala” in Julius Caesar about error as
“O hateful error, melancholy's child,
Why dost thou show to the apt thoughts of men
The things that are not? O error, soon conceived,
Thou never comest unto a happy birth,
But kill'st the mother that engender'd thee”
And as for us …….we just wait n wait with expectant eyes always thinking at every dawn that someone would come ….. would lift us up and say wid a chuckle …. “haah!! finally found u …. We missed you so much…. Its okay dear … This is life…Don’t worry”..
Still waiting….. !!!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Saturday, December 12, 2009
CHANGING OUR LIVES
Buddies,
Its true that people like us are very fortunate…fortunate enough to have been brought up in well to do families where our wishes get fulfilled even before they drop from our lips. All we know about “struggle” is merely its literal meaning…because its our parents who have faced it and outfought it to get a secure future for us…so that we could climb every milestone of our lives…clutching their fingers….without even having to know how the face of “struggle” looks like. We ask for one and we get thousands…such are our parents..
Nevertheless ,we plaintiffs, never stop making fuss over trivials….when we dont like the colour of the dress papa bought, or it is out of fashion….or if mum refuses to finance for a party we have promised to throw for our friends for no good reason, because she hasn’t received her current salary yet…or dad ‘s voice goes down as a gesture of reluctance when we put our hand on a branded shoe or dress(even when we have more than enough to suffice us).. because this is out of his budget.
Sounding crazy….am I?? well I m very much in my sanity…..
We call ourselves to be pampered….but its high time that we realize that we are not earning any credit if we continue to pass on airs of a pampered child with utterly disgusting tantrums.
People , we have to stop for a single second and instead of deciding the next venue for our hang-out…try to imagine the odds that our parents fight every day, to be able to fulfill the heaped wishes of ours.
Hard isn’t it??
Imagine the time, when we are engrossed in chatting with friends and gorging on burgers and pizzas, sitting relaxed on a cozy couch in a restaurant…and our dads dripped in sweat….have lunch from the packed tiffin…and den get back to the tedious mundane schedule of work…despite of having a troublesome back ache and done up by the toll of the day…just for the sake of US.
Imagine us slamming the door and fussing inside our room…just because mum refused to get us a new dress. And mum, instead of buying a new saree…gets us two( not even one) new dresses…just to satisfy our caprice.
She herself walks in the scortching sunlight to save some pennies….but asks us to hire auto so that convenience is at its best with us….
So buddies…this is.. sad but true is’nt it??
We grumble at such minor issues..which hold no water…now let me tell you a story which teaches us a lesson as to what extent a son can afford to abide by his father’s words and sacrifice without a single frown on his face. May be its not one of those famous rags to riches stories…..but the protagonist of my story deserves every inch of that appreciation that the heroes of those stories have earned. Though this column is too triffle a platform to appreciate him… yet I dedicate this blog to him…
The story goes back to some 35 years back..He was a medical student in Chandigarh…in fact to pile on… a very bright and promising student…from the remotest corner of the country..Agartala..and he had been awarded with...with 3 gold medals…more than enough to make his family proud …
Well, he hailed from a family where he had 5 more brothers and sisters… and his father ( a great doctor himself)…was the sole earner to feed 6 mouths…his father was much into social service and so as a result…there wasn’t much affluence in the family…
He knew that it would be difficult for his dad to manage financial circumstances…so he decided to go home once in a long time. Atleast this trivial act would save his dad some money he knew…
He studied hard …. keeping up his reputation….oblivious and uninterested about the filthy enjoyments and allurements…his peers were engaged in.
Finally he did successfully complete his M.B.B.S…but being such a meritorious student with such amazing results….he aimed for higher studies….
It was then that he wrote a letter 2 his dad …”dad..i know its high time …that I start seconding you and give u a whiff of relief…but dad… I have been selected for the higher studies…this is not going to come second time to me .So…Dad, can I still afford to ask to give you some more trouble for two more years?? After that I will take up all your trouble to me.”
And after some days…came his dad’s reply…with a small story narrated in it…
“it was during the old royal days when one of the kings had called upon poets from all over…to present their magnificient pieces of literature …and whosoever could impress him…would be rewared with a handsome amount. Vidyapati, the renowned poet of his time, was sitting in a boat amidst many other poets…that was heading towards the royal palace. He recited his poem just 2 make sure that nothing went wrong in there…
But as soon as he finished reading his verses, he heard the feeble wails of a woman on the boat. Encompassed, he asked her what was wrong. She said that her husband was also a poet…but not as famous as vidyapati. With tears flooding her utterly poverty stricken face, she said slowly that they hadn’t had food for th past 3 days and they had come over here with the hope of earning some money so that they cud atleast suffice their intolerable hunger. But vidyapati’s outstanding literature had shattered her last resort….because now she knew that her husband was nowhere in the lurch….
When vidyapati realized this with eyes wide open, unable to grasp the past few seconds….he felt a shiver…something provoked him from within…and suddenly without giving a second thought, he tore off his poem into pieces and threw them into the river. Looking at everyone’s bewildered faces, he said, “ a knowledge which causes pain to others is no knowledge to me…and so it is of no use”
And den his father wrote…
“son, come back… your siblings also need to study, why cause pain to them”
Such was the greatness of a father who cited such an example to convince his son to accept this lost battle ….and such was the righteousness and obedience of a son who left in no time…just because “it was his father’s instruction’…he did not even care to pay a second thought of judgement or write a second letter of argument…because he could see his father’s tears and his family’s need which was beckoning to him more than his gleaming path of career.
Though he had his dream half fulfilled den…but due to this one act…his father had showered all the blessings on him…and by virtue of that…today hes one of the renowned optamalogists…successfully done with his higher studies….occupying a highly dignified status in his society… known by all and sundry…. And even today…he treads on the path of strict principles …and enjoys his austerity…
And you know what, this great dad was none other than my maternal grandpa, and his ever obedient and great son is his eldest son, my uncle.
My dear friends…. To be frank, even I am one of a being like u all… and I confess with shame that yes even I have been a spendthrift at times…even I have squandered money when I have been whimsical….
But even after being one of the 21st century modern girl, after I heard this story(from my dad again), it brought about a sea change in my ways and thoughts…. And I am sure it will do the same justice with u too… and slowly… one day when you will be about to pay even one rupee….you will see 100 paise in it…when you will grab a costly dress, you will see the plain striped shirt of your dad…. And when you will have a grand sumptuous order placed before you on your treat, you will see your mom drenched in sweat, preparing your favourite dish, even after coming back from work!!!
And believe me….it will be then…when you will start living for others..and not your selfish “self”…
LIFE IS AT ITS BEST THEN…..TRY AND HAVE A TASTE OF IT
Its true that people like us are very fortunate…fortunate enough to have been brought up in well to do families where our wishes get fulfilled even before they drop from our lips. All we know about “struggle” is merely its literal meaning…because its our parents who have faced it and outfought it to get a secure future for us…so that we could climb every milestone of our lives…clutching their fingers….without even having to know how the face of “struggle” looks like. We ask for one and we get thousands…such are our parents..
Nevertheless ,we plaintiffs, never stop making fuss over trivials….when we dont like the colour of the dress papa bought, or it is out of fashion….or if mum refuses to finance for a party we have promised to throw for our friends for no good reason, because she hasn’t received her current salary yet…or dad ‘s voice goes down as a gesture of reluctance when we put our hand on a branded shoe or dress(even when we have more than enough to suffice us).. because this is out of his budget.
Sounding crazy….am I?? well I m very much in my sanity…..
We call ourselves to be pampered….but its high time that we realize that we are not earning any credit if we continue to pass on airs of a pampered child with utterly disgusting tantrums.
People , we have to stop for a single second and instead of deciding the next venue for our hang-out…try to imagine the odds that our parents fight every day, to be able to fulfill the heaped wishes of ours.
Hard isn’t it??
Imagine the time, when we are engrossed in chatting with friends and gorging on burgers and pizzas, sitting relaxed on a cozy couch in a restaurant…and our dads dripped in sweat….have lunch from the packed tiffin…and den get back to the tedious mundane schedule of work…despite of having a troublesome back ache and done up by the toll of the day…just for the sake of US.
Imagine us slamming the door and fussing inside our room…just because mum refused to get us a new dress. And mum, instead of buying a new saree…gets us two( not even one) new dresses…just to satisfy our caprice.
She herself walks in the scortching sunlight to save some pennies….but asks us to hire auto so that convenience is at its best with us….
So buddies…this is.. sad but true is’nt it??
We grumble at such minor issues..which hold no water…now let me tell you a story which teaches us a lesson as to what extent a son can afford to abide by his father’s words and sacrifice without a single frown on his face. May be its not one of those famous rags to riches stories…..but the protagonist of my story deserves every inch of that appreciation that the heroes of those stories have earned. Though this column is too triffle a platform to appreciate him… yet I dedicate this blog to him…
The story goes back to some 35 years back..He was a medical student in Chandigarh…in fact to pile on… a very bright and promising student…from the remotest corner of the country..Agartala..and he had been awarded with...with 3 gold medals…more than enough to make his family proud …
Well, he hailed from a family where he had 5 more brothers and sisters… and his father ( a great doctor himself)…was the sole earner to feed 6 mouths…his father was much into social service and so as a result…there wasn’t much affluence in the family…
He knew that it would be difficult for his dad to manage financial circumstances…so he decided to go home once in a long time. Atleast this trivial act would save his dad some money he knew…
He studied hard …. keeping up his reputation….oblivious and uninterested about the filthy enjoyments and allurements…his peers were engaged in.
Finally he did successfully complete his M.B.B.S…but being such a meritorious student with such amazing results….he aimed for higher studies….
It was then that he wrote a letter 2 his dad …”dad..i know its high time …that I start seconding you and give u a whiff of relief…but dad… I have been selected for the higher studies…this is not going to come second time to me .So…Dad, can I still afford to ask to give you some more trouble for two more years?? After that I will take up all your trouble to me.”
And after some days…came his dad’s reply…with a small story narrated in it…
“it was during the old royal days when one of the kings had called upon poets from all over…to present their magnificient pieces of literature …and whosoever could impress him…would be rewared with a handsome amount. Vidyapati, the renowned poet of his time, was sitting in a boat amidst many other poets…that was heading towards the royal palace. He recited his poem just 2 make sure that nothing went wrong in there…
But as soon as he finished reading his verses, he heard the feeble wails of a woman on the boat. Encompassed, he asked her what was wrong. She said that her husband was also a poet…but not as famous as vidyapati. With tears flooding her utterly poverty stricken face, she said slowly that they hadn’t had food for th past 3 days and they had come over here with the hope of earning some money so that they cud atleast suffice their intolerable hunger. But vidyapati’s outstanding literature had shattered her last resort….because now she knew that her husband was nowhere in the lurch….
When vidyapati realized this with eyes wide open, unable to grasp the past few seconds….he felt a shiver…something provoked him from within…and suddenly without giving a second thought, he tore off his poem into pieces and threw them into the river. Looking at everyone’s bewildered faces, he said, “ a knowledge which causes pain to others is no knowledge to me…and so it is of no use”
And den his father wrote…
“son, come back… your siblings also need to study, why cause pain to them”
Such was the greatness of a father who cited such an example to convince his son to accept this lost battle ….and such was the righteousness and obedience of a son who left in no time…just because “it was his father’s instruction’…he did not even care to pay a second thought of judgement or write a second letter of argument…because he could see his father’s tears and his family’s need which was beckoning to him more than his gleaming path of career.
Though he had his dream half fulfilled den…but due to this one act…his father had showered all the blessings on him…and by virtue of that…today hes one of the renowned optamalogists…successfully done with his higher studies….occupying a highly dignified status in his society… known by all and sundry…. And even today…he treads on the path of strict principles …and enjoys his austerity…
And you know what, this great dad was none other than my maternal grandpa, and his ever obedient and great son is his eldest son, my uncle.
My dear friends…. To be frank, even I am one of a being like u all… and I confess with shame that yes even I have been a spendthrift at times…even I have squandered money when I have been whimsical….
But even after being one of the 21st century modern girl, after I heard this story(from my dad again), it brought about a sea change in my ways and thoughts…. And I am sure it will do the same justice with u too… and slowly… one day when you will be about to pay even one rupee….you will see 100 paise in it…when you will grab a costly dress, you will see the plain striped shirt of your dad…. And when you will have a grand sumptuous order placed before you on your treat, you will see your mom drenched in sweat, preparing your favourite dish, even after coming back from work!!!
And believe me….it will be then…when you will start living for others..and not your selfish “self”…
LIFE IS AT ITS BEST THEN…..TRY AND HAVE A TASTE OF IT
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
THE EVER HANKERING MIND
Well, to begin with, what is life actually?? Some say it’s a war, some say it’s a challenge…and as the list goes on..we find that there are scores of definitions of “LIFE”.
But, for me…what I say is that, life is a cocktail…with the different flavors of our never ending wishes muddled up in it. And so, at times, its sweet, at times its scary, at times it is rocking, and at times it is weary.
Wishes, dreams---well I guess these are the two innate tendencies that human beings are supposed to nurse right from their cradle to their grave!!
Right from the time, we first open our sparkling curious eyes, till we close our wrinkled tired eyes, we never stop dreaming, we never stop wishing and never stop running after them. Every dream, every wish seems to be so alluring that we become ready to put at stake every single other thing in order to grab that precious wish and get it locked in our fist. But look at the wicked game of life…..it does happen at times, that after beating all the odds, when u finally have finished your chase, somehow you begin to realize that it wasn’t worth all of these…and somewhere u begin to ask yourself ....”was this what I really wanted?...may be not exactly..may be something more”..
Wicked isn’t it??
Haah…it is…
And then….as if in an autopilot mode, we start adding more beads of increasing wishes to our delicate string of life, completely ignorant of how would we face the music later on.
But you see, life is not always so generous with us. And as I said, life has its own pre-chalked mysterious way of playing with us, with our whims and our emotions.
So life allows us to add more storey’s to the castle we start building in the air…so that higher the castle becomes, more deafening will be its shattering sound, when it breaks and crumbles into dust….
Then what next??
An utterly brooding phase follows when the delicate string of life breaks reeling under our wishes. All we can see are blues, all we can feel are tears on our cheeks, BUT…the only thing we can do is……TO DREAM AGAIN….TO WISH AGAIN….
We try and try not to dream…not to wish…we get our minds locked in all bars…and get it shackled so that we are miles away from the filthy dreams…..but this is the gamble of life….., somehow…a new dream, a new wish sneaks inside…and we…mesmerized by its gleaming halo… again start hankering after it.
We never stop, because, we cant stop….we are just mere puppeted slaves of our “ever hankering mind”!!
But, for me…what I say is that, life is a cocktail…with the different flavors of our never ending wishes muddled up in it. And so, at times, its sweet, at times its scary, at times it is rocking, and at times it is weary.
Wishes, dreams---well I guess these are the two innate tendencies that human beings are supposed to nurse right from their cradle to their grave!!
Right from the time, we first open our sparkling curious eyes, till we close our wrinkled tired eyes, we never stop dreaming, we never stop wishing and never stop running after them. Every dream, every wish seems to be so alluring that we become ready to put at stake every single other thing in order to grab that precious wish and get it locked in our fist. But look at the wicked game of life…..it does happen at times, that after beating all the odds, when u finally have finished your chase, somehow you begin to realize that it wasn’t worth all of these…and somewhere u begin to ask yourself ....”was this what I really wanted?...may be not exactly..may be something more”..
Wicked isn’t it??
Haah…it is…
And then….as if in an autopilot mode, we start adding more beads of increasing wishes to our delicate string of life, completely ignorant of how would we face the music later on.
But you see, life is not always so generous with us. And as I said, life has its own pre-chalked mysterious way of playing with us, with our whims and our emotions.
So life allows us to add more storey’s to the castle we start building in the air…so that higher the castle becomes, more deafening will be its shattering sound, when it breaks and crumbles into dust….
Then what next??
An utterly brooding phase follows when the delicate string of life breaks reeling under our wishes. All we can see are blues, all we can feel are tears on our cheeks, BUT…the only thing we can do is……TO DREAM AGAIN….TO WISH AGAIN….
We try and try not to dream…not to wish…we get our minds locked in all bars…and get it shackled so that we are miles away from the filthy dreams…..but this is the gamble of life….., somehow…a new dream, a new wish sneaks inside…and we…mesmerized by its gleaming halo… again start hankering after it.
We never stop, because, we cant stop….we are just mere puppeted slaves of our “ever hankering mind”!!
Friday, December 4, 2009
FiNaLLy In LuV WiTh "END SEMS"
Hello buddies,
So it’s the last winter for all of us here @ the “land-of-crackpots”…and yet it seems as if this is still the first one for us!! Waao people…we have done with our second last end-sems …can you believe that? Though it sounds good to hear…but deep down the heart, we know that it actually doesn’t feel good…for reasons obvious… it signifies that the parting days are nearing us…even though we vainly try to defy it…
End sems---well something that every BITian dreads like anything. But know what? This time..i fell in love with the end sems…its not because that I was much into it….but just because…this time I looked at the end-sem struck hostel with a different perspective…and it was then that I realized with a sigh of nostalgia…that I am gonna miss my end-sems too!!
Well what actually is the scenario of and end-sem struck hostel? You see people’s head sandwiched between fat books…everywhere dispersed in the hostel. Some hanging from the lobby corridor railing, rattofying the definitions, some lying totally flat in the middle of the balcony swaying there hands in air, ears plugged with ipods, working on the numericals, some sitting with unbrushed hair, and constantly scratching out their head…to understand the jargon derivations with the horrible looking symbols. There is this other group of people…people like me…who keep comfort at their best..while studying. Such people prefer studying in the lawn, basking in the warmth of the sun, and constantly munching on chocolates or sweets…just to keep themselves entertained …and to keep up the “feel-good” factor about exams!! But well…its only an hour or so that such excellent comfort can keep you awake…because the next thing such people see…is a dark chilly twilight…because they had been sleeping all afternoon J.
When you climb up the balcony and look around to see such a variety of amusing actions and gestures…suddenly you realize…that this is what bonds us together. Wouldn’t those afternoons be more weary and disgusting if these people weren’t around us? Wouldn’t that night be much longer and scary when you were left with too huge a syllabus to cover and you were about to panic when someone patted your shoulder and said “abbey maine ab tak shuru bhi nahi kiya hai…peace hai..ho jaayega…bahot time hai abhi…aaja padhte hai”. And wouldn’t that moment be missed…when someone shouted out in the lobby “abbey exam nahi dena…” and instantaneously people started backing up …saying the same in chorus…without even caring to see who started it!!
If you ask me if there’s anything I love about endsems…then yes…it is this…these moments…these “chhoti-chhoti baatein”. I know I am gonna miss all of these heavily! Straining our eyes to study under a single candle when the light went off…waking up each other whenever the other dozed off…charitably offering coffee and tea to the sleepy ones…running up and down for notes and syllabus…and daring to complete a whole six month’s syllabus in just a handful of hours…I guess that’s what engineering exams have taught me….the skill of management.
So what else can I say…I know this is yet another “missable” thing @ BIT!!
Guys..we lost 7 end sems…and left with just a single now…so start your countdown buddies….its time!!
So it’s the last winter for all of us here @ the “land-of-crackpots”…and yet it seems as if this is still the first one for us!! Waao people…we have done with our second last end-sems …can you believe that? Though it sounds good to hear…but deep down the heart, we know that it actually doesn’t feel good…for reasons obvious… it signifies that the parting days are nearing us…even though we vainly try to defy it…
End sems---well something that every BITian dreads like anything. But know what? This time..i fell in love with the end sems…its not because that I was much into it….but just because…this time I looked at the end-sem struck hostel with a different perspective…and it was then that I realized with a sigh of nostalgia…that I am gonna miss my end-sems too!!
Well what actually is the scenario of and end-sem struck hostel? You see people’s head sandwiched between fat books…everywhere dispersed in the hostel. Some hanging from the lobby corridor railing, rattofying the definitions, some lying totally flat in the middle of the balcony swaying there hands in air, ears plugged with ipods, working on the numericals, some sitting with unbrushed hair, and constantly scratching out their head…to understand the jargon derivations with the horrible looking symbols. There is this other group of people…people like me…who keep comfort at their best..while studying. Such people prefer studying in the lawn, basking in the warmth of the sun, and constantly munching on chocolates or sweets…just to keep themselves entertained …and to keep up the “feel-good” factor about exams!! But well…its only an hour or so that such excellent comfort can keep you awake…because the next thing such people see…is a dark chilly twilight…because they had been sleeping all afternoon J.
When you climb up the balcony and look around to see such a variety of amusing actions and gestures…suddenly you realize…that this is what bonds us together. Wouldn’t those afternoons be more weary and disgusting if these people weren’t around us? Wouldn’t that night be much longer and scary when you were left with too huge a syllabus to cover and you were about to panic when someone patted your shoulder and said “abbey maine ab tak shuru bhi nahi kiya hai…peace hai..ho jaayega…bahot time hai abhi…aaja padhte hai”. And wouldn’t that moment be missed…when someone shouted out in the lobby “abbey exam nahi dena…” and instantaneously people started backing up …saying the same in chorus…without even caring to see who started it!!
If you ask me if there’s anything I love about endsems…then yes…it is this…these moments…these “chhoti-chhoti baatein”. I know I am gonna miss all of these heavily! Straining our eyes to study under a single candle when the light went off…waking up each other whenever the other dozed off…charitably offering coffee and tea to the sleepy ones…running up and down for notes and syllabus…and daring to complete a whole six month’s syllabus in just a handful of hours…I guess that’s what engineering exams have taught me….the skill of management.
So what else can I say…I know this is yet another “missable” thing @ BIT!!
Guys..we lost 7 end sems…and left with just a single now…so start your countdown buddies….its time!!
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